I Should Be Better Than This

I wish I were more like my parents. Not in every way, but certainly in this. If you've met my parents, they're your friends. That doesn't necessarily mean that you are their friend or that you even remember them, but they're your friends. It doesn't matter who you are. You could be a waiter at a restaraunt, a visitor at their church, or someone they were standing in line with at Target. They're your friends.

Now, I do have a little of that in me. Enough to realize it has its problems. There are people I think of as friends who don't remember who I am. Unlike my parents, I'm not as quick to assume that people will remember me. I don't walk up to some people and start talking to them like they're old friends, even though that is often the way I feel about them.

But what really bothers me about me is that there are some people I just don't like. It isn't that I hate them, but they rub me the wrong way. I'm not even sure I can put into words why that is, but I've noticed with some of the people I encounter online that just seeing their name is enough to make me cringe. I find that I've rejected what they have to say, even before they say it. There is one particular person that for some reason I've gotten the idea that she thinks too highly of herself. For some reason, I've gotten the impression that she cares more about selling her books and services more than she cares about people. It could be envy on my part, since somehow in her do whatever it takes to sell books approach she has made friends with some influential people in the publishing industry. All the same, I avoid her as much as possible, so I won't say something I'll regret.

I'll probably meet her in heaven some day and we'll have a good laugh about it. But I can see that there are things about me that aren't what they should be.

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